TV Review: Doctor Who 7.07 - The Rings of Akhaten

Say hello to the most divisive episode of series 7 yet.

Bombast. If I could write all of these reviews in single-word and still receive the same amount of accomplishment and lovely reception afterwards, that would be the word I would use to describe the second episodic instalment in series 7's concluding eight, a Neil Cross penned 42 minutes titled The Rings of Akhaten. Why bombast? Aliens, and lots of 'em; but surprisingly more prominently, epic dramatic monologues are quite the stand-out in this episode, taking place towards the end of a script struggling to carry the weight of such heavy heaps of dialogue. The Rings of Akhaten, admittedly, is a flawed episode. There's not a whole lot wrong with it, but Cross' debut tale is somewhat thin when it comes to plot, and if anything was proven by my review of last year's A Town called Mercy, it's that an episode lacking in a quality plot can't quite be saved by fantastic production values, superb direction and inspiring acting. Funnily enough, Akhaten packs all three of these, it just doesn't have a solid, complex enough tale to back-up the inclusion of such heady assets.

Comparisons to A Town called Mercy most definitely won't inspire confidence in this episode, but fear not; Akhaten happens to be of a fairly superior quality to that particular flop, at least in most of the aspects that Mercy dropped the ball. Now, Akhaten doesn't necessarily drop the ball, but it incautiously clings onto a ball so abnormally thin that, no matter how much it offers the viewer in the form of high-quality production, writing and set design amongst other things, it leaves a lot to be desired by the time those ending credits roll, at least in terms of story.

TV Review: Doctor Who 7.06 - The Bells of Saint John

I hope you're using a safe wireless connection to read this, otherwise you're in deep- ┓┏ 凵 =╱⊿┌┬┐

After yet another relatively lengthy hiatus, Britain's most beloved sci-fi drama is back on the box and along with it so ends my prolonged absence from the publishing of any actual articles here on the blog. From now onwards, you can expect reviews of new Doctor Who episodes published a fortnight after their original airing date at the very latest. All I can say is what a story to start with; Steven Moffat's modern-day London-based 'proper' introduction to the enigmatic Clara Oswald, titled The Bells of Saint John, is a thoroughly enjoyable, thrilling tale of mysterious goings-on in the commonplace near-necessity that we call Wi-Fi, complete with action-packed set-pieces, a solid cast of characters old and new and most importantly, a near-flawless script. That last asset is something that bodes well for Steven Moffat, who's been receiving a fair bit of stick for some of his recent mishaps. I've always considered the Moff to be a much better writer when he's penning stories that fit under the horror genre, so to give you an idea of The Bells of Saint John's greatness, this is easily one of his best non-horror scripts to date.

A good way to sum up the plot of Bells would be 'Doctor Who does Charlie Brooker's Black Mirror, spliced with a modern Bond or Bourne flick in London'. Steven Moffat and indeed the show as a whole have done the 'take an everyday object or image and make it scary' concept many a time before with statues, gas masks, plungers and the like, but it's never been applied to something we take for granted to such an extent that it (probably) almost comes second to oxygen and water. In the 21st century, Wi-Fi is everywhere and so is the temptation to join an unknown, open network. We've all tried it, and even though it almost never works, we continue to do so in hope that it will. It's because of this crazy temptation that Bells absolutely nails the tried and tested Doctor Who trope of taking something so commonplace and making it deadly, something that the previous episode, Christmas fiasco The Snowmen, failed to succeed in, creepy Richard D. James-ish grins plastered on Snowmen or no.

Update 31/01/13 - The Return / Finishing Touches / Stream 3

Welcome one and all. If you're the sort of superior human being who checks out this blog on a regular basis (and I know some of you are out there, spambots or no) you may have noticed that not a single bit of coding, let alone writing has been altered since the near-climax of the (questionably) great year that was 2012. Check your calendars, phones or what have you and you may also notice that the date is now somewhere in 2013, unless of course you're reading this in the very distant future. A happy new year is probably in order, but I've got more important matters to discuss in this short update than simple good tidings for what should be another (questionably) stellar twelve months. Regardless, you have my piqued wishes for the 2013, dear reader, just because you mean that much to me.

Now for what you really want to be reading: Information on what's next for Noodle's Blog. Well, it goes without saying that other, more important commitments (GCSEs, homework, personal statements and all that lovely stuff) have got in the way of any personal writing projects, hence the lack of any kind of update this past month, but a number of pieces are currently in progress. I can't promise anything other than this update until February, but when that particular month begins a number of posts are sure to start submerging from their draft stages into full-on publishing (I try my best to make these things sound interesting). Without further ado, allow me to name the articles I currently have in the works, starting with the most obvious and most likely first to be published following this post: My review of last year's Doctor Who Christmas special, The Snowmen. An analytical review of The Doctor's latest escapade has already been mapped out, or drafted, by yours truly. In other words, you can expect it to be published very soon.

Straying away from upcoming posts for a moment, it's worth noting that the gradual redesign will no longer be 'almost finished' very soon. The pages under the header will contain content and include graphics, and finishing touches will be made to tweak the site to the best possible standard. Because let's be honest, the side-bar is a bit of a mess at the moment. In other news, ONM forum-based web-magazine Stream saw its third issue launch earlier this month. It includes a beautiful spread of my first two Doctor Who reviews (Asylum of the Daleks and Dinosaurs on a Spaceship) crafted by TJ HipHop and a (rather dated) interview in which I am verbally probed by fellow ONM member and good buddy Conorr. I don't plan on posting that interview on here so if you want to check it out, alongside a whole heap of other free journalism in a wonderfully crafted virtual magazine shell, have a read of Stream issue 3 right here. If you're interested in contributing to the magazine in any way, sign up to the ONM forums and check out this thread. Act fast and you'll be able to bring Issue 4 even closer...

Back to upcoming posts, we're finally re-exploring the world of gaming with my next game review. The title in question that I'll be writing about is the latest escapade of Level-5's gentlemanly top-hatted Professor. I can't be referring to anything other than Professor Layton and the Mask of Miracle on 3DS, which I finally beat to a great amount of satisfaction the other day. Staying on the topic of gaming, I'm currently progressing through Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker on my friend's PSP. So yeah, that'll be my first review of a non-Nintendo game. Exciting, no? Anyway, we now traverse once again outside of the realms of gaming, and into TV and music. As a part of my contributions to Issue 4 of Stream, I'll be taking on Radiohead's The King of Limbs. It'll be exclusive to the magazine for an amount of time before I eventually publish it on here. Something less exciting you'll be seeing on the blog soon is my review of 13 by Blur, which I wrote early last year to little success. It was something of a rush-job as I was pushing back a deadline due to certain circumstances, but that's all in the past now. Things are a lot more flexible now so it's safe to say my next album review shall be of a greater quality.

Closing off this update with TV-related articles, I'm currently approximately halfway through an article on why Breaking Bad is one of the best things - if not the best thing - on the box. It'll be published very soon, hopefully this month. Now, unless I've forgotten anything, I'll end this update on a high: I may have been inactive when it comes to writing these past few months, but things are finally back on track. Be sure to look forward to my review of The Snowmen, set to be published in the next week or so, as well as everything else beyond that. Thanks for reading!

Time's End - Good Things Can Come Out of the 'End of the World'

 

You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?

On the run-up to the 21st of December in the year that is 2012, a drastic event was set: An event in which time for the human race would run out. The end of the world. The end of time for all of Earth's inhabitants. Of course, this all turned out to be complete and utter drivel and we're now back to getting on with our lives as opposed to worrying about yet another end of the world prediction. Man, I can't stand these things, they always disappoint. I'm not saying I want to get killed along with the rest of our humble, diverse race, but a zombie apocalypse would be pretty awesome. As long as said zombies are more like the ones in the original Dawn of the Dead - in other words completely and utterly hopeless unless they come across an edible treat too imbecilic to avoid being consumed like a buffet of blood and guts. Ahem, I seem to be getting a tad sidetracked, here, and for no good reason. You may be wondering, 'why are you rambling on about the end of the world and zombie apocalypses? What is the actual point of this article?' Well, reader/spam bot, I'm writing this to inform those of you who don't know that something brilliant has finally come out of one of the end of the world hoaxes. And because zombie apocalypses are awesome. No more worries for the living, only mindless justified violence and survival.

Before I get sidetracked yet again, the point of this article is to inform you, under no endorsement from its creator whatsoever, that a rather interesting fan project has been generated by both the phenomenal conceptualisation of the brilliant The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, as well as the countdown to the end of the Mayan calendar that allegedly predicted our final days (nice one, Mayans). This project is titled simply, Time's End. This is a re-arranged remix album that was released for free on terriblefate.com following a countdown that lasted three days (hey, kinda like Majora's Mask's apocalypse countdown, funnily enough) and ended at what might well have been the end of the world in reality (it wasn't). At the end of the countdown was a pretty stellar collection of tunes based on Nintendo's black sheep installment in the Zelda franchise. It was a beloved black sheep, of course, as it spawned this fan project that would cleverly tie-in with what was supposedly to be the real-life version of apocalyptic events. Again, it wasn't, but we got a pretty awesome remix album out of it.

Having listened through it twice, now, I can safely say that Time's End does the classic gaming masterpiece justice. Haunting melodies and recognisable motifs paired with alterations to the original soundtrack make for some listening not so much delightful as enjoyable. Majora's Mask really was messed up, and this fan project greatly emphasises that fact. Even if you're not a fan of the game, or gaming in general for that matter, it's well worth checking out Time's End as it is, as aforementioned, completely and utterly free. Or, if you're particularly nice, you can even donate to the creator of the project on Bandcamp with a 'pay what you want' dealio. Heck, it's worth checking out the site if only to see the awesomely disturbing animated image of Majora's demonic mask at the top of the page. So yeah, get on it, and most importantly, enjoy.

In other news, I've got a preview of upcoming Doctor Who Christmas special The Snowmen in the latter stages of the writing process at the time I type these words, so be sure to look forward to that. Speaking of things to look forward to, I hope the next end of the world prediction will come with more brilliant celebrations along the lines of what we've received this time around with Time's End. Dare I say it, I can't wait until the next end of the world.